Escaping Reality

Escaping from reality is something that somehow coincides with the theme of the changing seasons.
The intermediate time when you're preparing for a new "working year" but still have the liberty to technically do what you want is a surreal period that can be extremely disorienting.

So it's good to get away - to escape from the surreal reality and whatever problems may be bothering you at this time.

Step 1: buy food one day in advance so that you won't have to venture out during your day of escape.

Step 2: when you wake up, unplug and/or turn off your phones. Pick a time when you're not expecting anything important, so that this won't be too problematic. Then lock your door and close the peephole. (Bear in mind that a do-not-disturb sign is going overboard.)

Step 3: regulate the temperature and atmosphere of your home so that it's perfect for you. For instance, if it's boiling hot and blindingly sunny, pull down all of the shades in your house. If it's rainy, light a few candles.

For the rest of the day: watch a movie or, even better, your favorite guilty pleasure TV show or soap, use a shoulder or foot massager if you have one, take a long bath with salts/bubbles/essential oils, cook yourself your favorite foods... In short, do all of your favorite things in the comfort of your home and completely rejuvenate yourself.

But this is the long version. If you're busy over the weekend or simply can't manage a day like this, there are easier ways of escaping from the world.

Quick Ideas:
-go to the cinema by yourself and try to find a seat far away from everyone else (other people bring in the outside world)
-take a long bath (whether it's in the morning, evening or even in the afternoon, closing the bathroom door on steam, candles and delicious smells and soaking in the warm water is an amazing feeling)
-sit down somewhere, either at home or in a restaurant somewhere and have a single (or double) glass of wine (whatever you feel like - white, red, rosé and especially champagne can work wonders for a headache, heartache or whatever else)

Remember: being by yourself and relaxing is some of the best medicine for any bad feeling that we might have.

Enjoying the last of the Summer

One must love summer - it's practically inevitable. The sun, the chance to go on vacation and all the rest make it one of the best times of the year.

But (sadly) this summer is drawing to a close with only a few days left in August and the famous September issue of Vogue already on the shelves.

We should not despair - welcoming Fall is all very well, but we can save that for next week and the week after. Now is the time for taking full advantage of what delightful days of hazy heat are left to us.

Some of us don't have the funds or the time to go to the beach one last time. It's a shame, but that is what they made pools for. Or if you're a little too lazy to find a good one (I've been there many times so I understand) lie on your couch in a bathing suit and spray yourself with water. Maybe you won't get a tan this way, but it really cools you down.
Add a magazine, a face mask and a fruit smoothie fresh from the mixer with some ice cubes and you have your own little spa.

Speaking of cooling down, you should remember that summer drinks are not what you're going to want when the weather gets colder. Perrier on ice may be eternal, but cocktails like Frozen Margaritas and Mojitos simply don't work in December. Besides, in the winter, it's considered lacking in taste to drink at all hours of the day, whereas in summer you can let go and do pretty much whatever you want.

The thing is, people don't judge you during this season as much as during others. Hence the summer flings and other similar occupations. It's widely believed that the heat and the humidity effect your head as well as your hair, so even though I don't personally believe this theory, I take advantage of it as much as I can!

A last unfortunate comment: autumn may officially start on the 21st of September, but work and obligations that are synonymous with that season start on the 1st.

Enjoy your last days of summer to the fullest.
Remember: they're all you have until next year!

(Again - we can all worry about facing the fall next week, though it isn't as hard as you might think.)

Dropping those extra pounds

I am not going to give one of those lectures on how everybody is perfect the way they are and beautiful in their own way, etc. etc. etc.

This would be something close to a lie, as well as misleading to those who wish to lose some weight.

The most important thing is not how other people look at you (as I'm sure you've already heard) but how you look at yourself. And let's face it (time for honesty) every woman feels better about herself if she looks nice and slim. (I am not obsessive, I'm just telling the truth based on both personal experience and what a lot of women have told me.)

But crash-dieting as a result of low self esteem can easily end in disaster. You'll probably give in and eat more than usual after a few days.

What you have to do is learn how to avoid doing this by finding other solutions.

Exercise

So if you want to get drastic about it, don't compulsively starve yourself. The intense desire for immediate results can inspire you, of course, but take it out in a different way: intensely exercise. Spend as much time as you can at the gym, going for a run, or even doing crunches on your bedroom floor. The feeling of satisfaction is much better than what being hungry brings.

Food

And as far as nutrition is concerned, the most important thing to remember is no snacking between meals! This is the way to put on the pounds. If you feel you must chew something, go with gum. It's satisfying and tides you over until the next meal. Or at least replace the junk-food with dried fruit: it's healthy as well as satisfying. Also, replace your usual snacks with fluids: they fill you up much faster and if you drink the right ones, the calories are minimal or non-existent. (See below.)

Eating can also be a result of boredom. If you keep yourself occupied during your free time instead of sitting in front of the TV (which automatically creates the desire for potato chips or something of the like). If you're busy enough or happy enough, you won't even think about food until you look at the clock and realize that it's time for a meal.

If you feel like your system is clogged with junk food and you absolutely have to ingest less in order to get it out, you can occasionally replace breakfast with a fruit salad, and have a salad with embellishing such as cheese, eggs and ham for lunch. If you're looking for fast results, eat one very complete meal in the day and two much lighter ones.

Fish is also a component for balancing out your diet. Replace the pork medallions and cream sauce of dinner with some nice salmon and lemon juice. Besides being unbelievably healthy, things like this are very low on calories.

While on the topic of fish, I feel inclined to mention sushi. This can be particular and not to the taste of many people, but if you like it and are trying to lose weight, eat it for lunch or dinner as often as possible.

Otherwise, the immortal yet tormenting solution: skip dessert. Yes, ladies, I know it's tragic, and when you've achieved your goal you can go back to having something small yet satisfying once a day, but until then it would be advisable to let it alone for a while. (I'm truly sorry to have to say it, but it's true.)

Finally, back to the basics: lots of fruit and vegetables, whatever else you may be eating. (I don't think that I need to say more than that on the subject - enough people have preached the virtues of these fresh foods and it's enough to say that I completely agree with them.)

Fluids

A little more of getting back to the basics: water, water and more water. Under normal circumstances, you should drink about 1.5 to 2 liters per day. If you're trying to drop some weight, 2.5 to 3 would be more advisable.

Otherwise, fruit juices are useful if you feel like something sweet. This, coupled with fruit itself, makes a temporary substitute for desert. And don't hesitate to amuse yourself with mixes and cocktails: make yourself a spritzer with some Perrier once in a while.

But while I'm on the topic of alcohol, I have to remind you that it does contain its own calories, so keep it in moderation.

Finally, green tea is wonderfully slimming. This does not have to be kept in moderation, so drink it as often as you can. It's very healthy and good for your system, so it's impossible to over-dose. (Black tea is also nice to drink during the day if you feel that coffee is too strong and would make you hyper - either is also a nice substitute for snacking between meals.)

Now, I apologize for saying such horrible things as 'skip dessert' and 'keep alcohol in moderation' as I know that these two things can be essential to a woman's survival. Remember, though, that I have not said anything about coffee: you do not have to abandon this, it does nothing wrong. (I can practically hear the sigh of relief.)

But just remember that dramatic arrangements such as these are only temporary. (A week or two of a slight diet that combines some of the ideas that I have listed is all that I recommend, otherwise just alternate between them.)

Dealing with stress

We all have stress in our lives, whether it comes from an over-booked schedule or more serious life problems.

Living in Europe, I have observed and adopted a remarkable attitude towards the world that drastically diminishes stress.

This attitude consists of a casual waving away of complaints and worries.

In general, avoid things that are likely to create stress and a bad feeling. This will reduce the necessity of having to deal with these things.

However, when you do find yourself in a pressured situation, go at it with a cool, calm and collected demeanor.

Most importantly, do not treat the problem as if it is too serious, which blows it out of proportion.

Living in France, I have come to realize the key to their success at maintaining such a marvelously je m'en fou outlook on their problems.

At the heart of it is their many vacations and week-end breaks.

Though in most countries, the two-week vacations in October, December, February and April, not the mention the long summers and countless jours ferriées, do not exist, but weekends are something quite universal. There is therefore no reason that, should you need to get away from the harsh reality of your problems, you shouldn't get in your car or onto a train, plane or boat to go somewhere for a couple of days. (I highly recommend a spa somewhere in the country or near the sea.)

Don't shy away from escaping just because of some ideas regarding the so-called work-ethic. That is too much of a cliché to be observed.

If you don't have time to take a whole weekend (though it is always a good idea to make time, as your sanity can sometimes depend upon it!) just devote an afternoon to doing things that you love, whether it be cooking, gardening or shopping.

Another ideal solution would be to get a massage or a facial, but this is both expensive and time-consuming, so don't try to fit it in if you can't quite swing it.

Remember: even an evening of having a long bath, watching a nice movie or giving yourself a pedicure can be tremendously helpful.

Dealing with your problems under stress is something that can drive you to rash actions and an unpleasantly panicked feeling.

Whatever you do as a solution to your stress will help you come back ready to tackle the problem more quickly, easily and efficiently.

Dressing for unspecified occasions

Yesterday, some friends of mine called me to announce that they were done with their golf tournament and would like me to join them for dinner at the club.

After agreeing to go, I realized that I had no idea what kind of dinner it would be. Did they mean Country Club, in which case I would be expected to wear pearls and a sweater set? Or would it be a dressy affair to celebrate the winners of the tournament? Or would there even be continued games, in which case the golf course would be flooded with fluorescent light and I would need comfortable shoes?

This is the kind of situation that arises quite often in summer social life.

So what I remembered was the line from Lauren Weisberger's The Devil Wears Prada: 'It is better to be under-dressed chicly than to be over-dressed.'

With this in mind, I opted for some semi-dressy brown satin capri pants, a cream-colored long-sleeved shirt with blue lining and an adaptable decoltée and shiny black leather flats.

My touch of brilliance (if I do say so myself) was manipulating the accessories and details that are usually considered minor, which is the best thing to do under the circumstances.

The key to success: put on a flexible outfit that can be suited to many occasions (I would discourage jeans and other denim clothes as well as shorts in most circumstances) then have in-case-of-emergency essentials in your bag.

The details can be expertly manipulated to transform your outfit from casually chic to soirée.

Jewelry: earrings are one of the most noticeable pieces that you can put on. For an unspecified occasion such as the one I mentioned, put on a pair of ostentatious and fancy ones (for example, I wore dangly platinum and sapphires) then remove them and slip them into an inside pocket of your bag if the event turns out to be casual. The same can be done with necklaces and even bracelets or rings. (You can have a small zip case with some options in your bag if jewelry is an important part of your dressing ritual.)

Hair: do not adopt a complicated and intricate style. Rather, have some nice berets in your bag or sweep your hair into a simple bun before leaving your house. Hair down can be used for any occasion, but if your outfit is casual, some styling can really class it up. I would also suggest keeping an elastic in your bag: if the event is extremely casual, and over-dressed outfit can be offset by a ponytail. (Personally, I opted for the bun.)

Makeup: arrive at the event with your usual amount of daytime makeup, but keep a couple of options in your bag. Dark red lipstick, dramatic mascara and dark eye-shadow are the essentials for a fancy outfit, and can be easily applied during a quick dash to the ladies' upon arrival. If this is not necessary, it saves you a trip, but if it is, you will be highly grateful that you brought the supplies with you.

Perfume: apply a small spritz of something nice before you leave, just as you do during the day. (As Coco Chanel's rather exaggerated opinion states, 'a woman who does not wear perfume has no future.') However, keep a small bottle or sample of a more va-va-va-voom scent in your bag for extra evening-wear in case you need it. Or simply have two samples in your bag - one light and one heavy, and apply the appropriate one upon arrival. (Yes, that's why you always save the millions of samples from the perfume store that you think you'll never use.)

Eye-wear: if the event is in the afternoon or early evening, keep sunglasses handy. The more formal the evening, the more likely it is to be held inside, so it is possible that you won't need to use them, but if it turns out to be something more laid-back outside, you'll be glad to have them. And if you wear eyeglasses and own contact lenses, have both handy in your bag. Arrive wearing the glasses, then go to the ladies' and switch for the contacts if it's a little more formal.

Hats: not advisable. A hat cannot be slipped into an elegant bag, and they create the infamous hat-hair. Hats are best used for specific occasions such as classy beach or garden parties.

Shoes: opt for something comfortable yet elegant and sophisticated. If you usually wear heels during the day, it may be all right to keep them on, but if you do not, you will look as if you're trying too hard should the occasion be very casual. Wear shoes that you feel confident in.

The bag itself: if your daytime one is purely sporty or something of the like, go with something a little nicer. A relatively small one that can fit anything you need (including some money!) and can be mistaken for over-dressed-daytime is perfect. Avoid sparkles and such at all costs, and do not bring a tiny clutch if you are not sure how dressed-up the evening will be. Remember, you can always deposit your bag in a corner so that nobody has to see it until you are leaving if the occasion is more formal than expected. (I myself opted for something involving black leather and blue-and-white fabric with a delicate design that I often use during the day.)

These deceptively simple tips can be essential for your success at an evening. Anything else of the like can be extensively helpful as well, so do anything you can think of.

The important thing is to go with your instincts and to be appropriate to the season. (I admit that the brown pants were a little more Fall Line than Summer, but I offset that with a great deal of blue-and-white, the defining characteristic of this season.)

Keep in mind: the alterations to your outfit require quick thinking and fast action. If you can get a glimpse of the other people and interpret how they are dressed before they spot you, it would be best. That way, you can dash off to the ladies' without anyone noticing and emerge appropriate to the event and ready to be exclaimed over for your impeccable taste.

In case of extreme formality when your dress-up emergencies are not sufficient: simply apologize for your attire and explain that you weren't quite sure how to dress for the event. Then be extra charming and sophisticated to make up for it. However, when talking to other people about this, do not blame your acquaintances. It's tacky and low-class. (But in such an event, you are perfectly within your rights to lecture them once you are alone.)

By the way, my event turned out to be much more casual than I expected, something more of an outside buffet with a band than an indoor sit-down dinner with a string quartet. (Though if it would have been that formal, I sincerely hope that my friends would have told me beforehand!) So I slipped the earrings into my bag, put on my sunglasses, pulled my hair out of the bun and into a ponytail and closed one more button on my shirt for discretion.